BEST FRIEND,WHO ARE THEY..?

This is an article about how to find a best friend, what are the best friends,and Who are the best friends. When i found this article from "hello" magazine edition february 1996 among english magazines I thought it's the best article. I hope it will help us to find someone who you want to look for. And so this article reminds me that i had a friend, he was my best friend but he's "passed away". I haven't got a friend like him any more. And I'll always try to find a best friend for my life. Here is the article for you, readers...

BEST FRIEND, WHO ARE THEY..?

A friend of mine was angry when i sad that he was my ex-best friend. In his letter to me, he said ,"We are always, best friend, although we have not seen each other for more than five years. "There are no ex-best friend. Best friends are forever. Nothing can stop it or change it , he concluded. It is a relationship for a life time Best friend are friend for live those who have one , have a lot.
I was touched while reading my friend's letter. We no longer share news and information about ourselves through letters for long. Nevertheless, deep in our heart, we still fell the warmth of our friendship. Every now and then, I pray for him after my regular players. When waking up in the morning, I sometimes remember how nice our relationship was. We used to be together -sharing feeling, stories and jokes, helping each other , and so forth-but no any longer. I often recall the wonderful memories of when we were still together, not to say that i am a sentimental guy. He admitted himself that he would not forget our friendship. In Friendship, love is involved. In L'Amitie est I'Amoursans Ailes, Lord Byron Write, "Friendship is love without the his wings."
I don't think that our friendship was perfect. Like any other human relationship, we sometimes quarreled. Or we debated fiercely about something unimportant like who were the leading stars of Gone With The Wind. Were they Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable or Elizabeth Taylor and Clark Gable? But one thing is sure, we didn't separate because of trivial things. our friendship so unforgettable.
Selecting friends is important. .A proverb says, "Tell me the company you keep and i'll tell you who you are." Those who tend to do bad thing should be avoided, In that they will only give you trouble. "Best friends "usually occur to people with the same interest. A thief gets on well with a thief. A painter fits in other painters An author is suitable for another author. But there are many proof that friendship happens also to people with different back grounds and interest. The movie Langitku Rumahku depicts two children can be best friend although they are from very different societies. The Cure-starring Brad Renfro-also depicts two children making their own adventurous journey to find the cure for Aid. Who are best friend? The following are only some-not all-points witch make them our best friends.

1. They criticize us in private, and defend us in public

I was furious when one of my best friend criticized me. I thought he was not my friends because he hurt my feeling. But then, when the incident stopped hurting. I realized that he told me the truth. And I was grateful that he told me in private so that I was not embarrassed. Real friend will tell the truth even trough it will hurt, Their intention is that we don't make the mistakes in public. It is their way to defend us. For those who embrace Islam, the friendship between the Islamic prophet Muhammad and Abu Bakar is well know. Abu Bakar is know for his defending Muhammad in public for he absolutely trusted Muhammad. As well, best friend don't need to be those who always agree with our opinion. They can be against our opinion, but they still give us admiration for we are independent people.


2. They are happy with our success, and sad with our failure.

Real friends are those who earnestly congratulate us first on our success They don't envy our happiness, they can be happy together with us. Additionally, they don't leave us when we are sad. And there is no burden to have them for best friend.


3. They encourage us when we fail.

Best friend don't leave us when we fail. They are the first to cheer us up. They are sad if we are sad. And they don't want us to fail. They want our success as if we were themselves. If they know what to do they will help us. And they will look for any way to do it.





4. They send other friend to pay us attention when we are feeling down.

When we are depressed and lock ourselves in our room, real friends would like to know why. If we want to be alone, they will send other friends to give more attention.


5. They are not reluctant to tell their personal problems.

Real friends confide in us. They share secrets, trivial or important. They like to tell us their personal problems. They do this not because they want us to solve their problems, sometimes only to make us know that they have the problems. It's a matter of sharing. You tell them your problem, and they theirs. However simple its seems. It is one ways to decrease depression.


6. They write us from the other part of the world that they are having a good time.

When my sister ate the jelly cake, she said, "Eating this remind me of Denny, my Nephew. He likes jelly the best. "Real friend will surely remember us when they are part of the world, or in another city, when they are going through a fabulous time, enjoying themselves. Sometime, they send us letter or card to tell us that they are happy.

7. They are kind without being fussy.

In short. real friends understand you. They are nice, good to you, but they don't have to be involved in your personal problem. they just want to be good to you and understand you. This they do by not asking quickly about details if you are telling them your problem. They will let you either tell it all or tell it partly. It doesn't matter much to them. They will basically be happy if you get relieved after telling.

8. They can keep secrets.

Real friend don't tell our secrets to others. They are people we can talk to, and they don't break this confidence. They are always there for us when we need someone. And they keep what we have talked to them for themselves. Sometimes this quality belong to someone we don't get on very well. Maybe, once we talk about something to them, and they won't tell anybody about it. This type is potential of being our confidant, or our best friend later. that is why, in letters to His Son, Lord Chesterfield exclaim, "After their friendship there is nothing so dangerous as to have them for enemies."

9. They are attentive without being possessive.

Your mother, father, brothers, sisters, aunt, uncle, neighbors or else can be your real friends. But not very real friend is your mother. The point is real friends are always attentive to you, but, they don't have your life under their control. They only want to know what you are doing, and then they let you do it the way you like it. they care about you, but they don't try to master over you.

10. They are concerned without being paternalistic.

Helping is not easy to do. If you really want to help someone, it doesn't mean you do what he should do. The best help doesn’t make the helped have nothing else to do. The best help will make the helped able to help themselves. Our real friend are not those who finish all of our problem. Neither, are they the people who get things done for us. Real friends are willing to help us, but they don't want to control us. In other words, they will give us the alternatives, and let us accomplish the rest.




11. They are always available to us.

When I was unemployed, one of my friend from another town sent me information about some companies looking for employees for a number of vacant positions. Holding his latter, I was touched. Wherever they live, best friends are available to us. Robert Louis Stevenson tells about a friendship between two guys of the opposite background. David Balfour and Alan Kidnapped. Thought their countries are at fierce war, they get on well with each other.


I once read a story about two people who were best friends although they never saw each other. they only had the felling that they were tied with a warm friendship. And this was not because of some worldly things. They became best friends because they believed in God, the same God. And they made their friendship a way of worshiping Him. Could they be called best friend? They were not close physically, but spiritually they were on the same path to reach God The Almighty. I think this is the truest friendship ever for friendship was not the end, but only a mean to reach something more valuable.

The problem with having best friends is: how do you become one?